To Dear Wife

It’s your 40th birthday and as usual I am at a loss as to what to give you as a gift! You know how I am with gifts and birthdays. And you very well know what happens when I attempt to plan anything in advance! So instead of buying a thing, I feel I should write something for you. I know what you secretly wish or hope for but never receive it from me,

some well deserving words of appreciation for what you do for me and the family.

May be I picked this up from my father. I know how deeply he cares and feels but never in his life ever expressed it to my mother. So this post is equally true if my father ever has to say what he truly feels for my mother.

When I write, I feel closest to my most authentic self.

So today, I am writing what I never say or don’t say often enough! 

Remember this – absence of expression doesn’t necessarily mean absence of existence. Be it anything in a close relationship – love, care, respect or appreciation – It can truly exist without expressing it. In silence, love thrives.

I don’t say it but I see and notice things everyday that you may want me to see and appreciate. 

I see how you tirelessly carry most of the household duties on your shoulders.

I see the love and attention you pour in the smallest of things, such as my lunch box at work. I notice the separate box with papad and sprinkle of methiyu athanu in my khichdi. 

I see all of it.

Although quite annoying at times, I feel the love behind your 10000 calls a day for no particular reason at all.

I have seen my morning and evening cup of tea on the table without fail for the last 16 years. I want you to know that I am not taking it for granted. 

I observe and appreciate how wholeheartedly you give your fullest attention and time to our daughter.

I understand your challenge of living with a husband who has no talent in the kitchen apart from doing the dishes.

I appreciate how you balance your professional and personal life along with the daunting duties of a mother.

I see and love the way you enjoy motherhood.

I am aware of the ways you take care of the rest of my family with so much love.

I admire your conviction to always think of others first. 

I see your agony when people you care are in pain. Sometimes you worry for others so much that you start suffering on behalf of others.

I see the joy you get from giving it to others rather than receiving.

I love how you derive so much happiness from the smallest things in life. 

I have been lucky to have strong women in my life. I saw my mom do it. I saw your mom do it. And now I see you smashing it!

I am extremely grateful. 

Wishing you the bestest of health and happiness.

Love you.

PS – and yeah..I also see your frustration around my inherent nature of laziness..But I am afraid you just have to learn to live with it 🙂