Whenever you are troubled, unsettled or feel insulted, often the underlying reason is,
Identity.
Personal Identity.
If someone tells you that you are not a good parent, who takes that offense? Your identity as a parent is threatened.
If someone tells you that you are not great at what you do, who takes that insult? Your identity as a professional is diminished.
If someone tells you that you are not a good friend. Who gets angry at such comments? You, as a friend, gets offended.
Are you three (parent, professional and a friend) or just ONE??
If you observe closely, it is evident that when “you” as a parent gets offended, “you” as a professional is perfectly fine. When “you” as a professional is insulted, “you” as a parent have no qualms about it. One identity does not suffer on behalf of the other. Sometimes identities overlap but most of the time, they are exclusive. In fact, exclusivity is what identity thrives upon.
It is only when you are identified with a role, the trouble arises.
If you strip away all the labels and roles, who remains? And that who remains, can that be troubled or insulted?
The role identity is the predominant cause of much suffering in human’s life. Humans, knowingly or unknowingly, take up multiple identities. Race, religion, nationality etc. are some common societal avenues for strengthening the identities on collective level. On individual level, your likes and dislikes become the breeding ground for creating a phantom self.
For some humans, their identity is so seductive, they will go to war, just to preserve it.
We all have to take up roles in life. They are necessary for practical reasons.
But………… if it is the only way you interact and relate to the outer world, you are doomed.
The humanity is doomed.
