Dynamics of Desire

Buddha said “Desire is the root cause of suffering”. He was right but don’t just take his word for it. Imagine telling a child “Don’t desire a toy, it will make you suffer”. Imagine telling a teenager “Don’t desire a relationship because it causes suffering”. Imagine telling a person living in poverty “Don’t desire money because it brings suffering”. Imagine telling an athlete “Don’t desire to win because desire is suffering”. It will not work. Simply taking Buddha’s statement will not really sink in because desire to not desire is also a desire. You can only come to this realisation through experiential understanding. Unless you are a sage showered by divine grace, you will have to go through number of cycles of desire to come to this understanding. It is an important part of human evolution.

Remember, Buddha came to this realisation after a point in his life where he had everything that a man can desire. Money, status, comfort, health, relationships, everything; the whole deal. He came to this realisation after he had tasted the fulfillment of everything that he could wish for. If he had not been pampered with all the comforts and luxuries, it’s very unlikely that he would have reached this understanding that Desire is the cause of suffering. 

Desiring something and achieving it, is the prerequisite to bring the experiential understanding of the statement, “Desire is suffering”.  

Whatever may be the desire, it’s very important to understand the intricacies of desire. Fulfilling your desire is the very first step to understand that “Desire is suffering”. Because desire never ends by its fulfillment. You just feel temporary relief from the anxiety created by the lack of things you desire. Fulfillment of any desire will never bring you lasting satisfaction. Just like you come to the point of clarity via confusion, you come to understand the true nature of things by seeing the illusory nature of things. 

What is the value of Nirvana without tasting the existence of Samsara? 

So what to do to be free from desire? Nothing. There is nothing “you can do”. You can not be free from desire. You can only understand it. To understand the desire is to free yourself from it. 

So will you stop wanting things? Maybe. Maybe not. 

However, your relationship with things you desire changes completely. You may still want things but in a different way. You may still want things but you will not want them to complete you. You will not want things out of a sense of lack. You may want things but at the same time, you won’t be at unease in absence of those things. You will develop the ability to examine the purity of your desires than just going after any rampant desire that stems from your mind. You will stop rationalising your desires. You will still go after things but you will not have illusory and unrealistic expectation that fulfilling the desire will fulfil you, in any sense.

Desire is not bad. It is often misconstrued.